Botched Potion
by Ange de Socrates
Summary: Severus' mistake turns out to be the best thing he ever did for himself. M for a good reason. REVISED FOR READABILITY 3/17/08
1. Chapter One

_**Botched Potion**_

_By Ange de Socrates_

WARNING: This story is filled with sexual innuendo and situations. Do not read if you are sensitive to such material.

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. J.K. Rowling does. I can only claim the plot, which is rather weak, anyway.**_

---------------------------------------

"Well…well…"

"Well _what_, woman?"

"Ugh! You conceited bastard!"

"Ugly wench!"

"Prick!"

"Whore!"

SMACK!

Severus Snape gingerly touched his fingers to his cheek where said wench had just struck him. Hard.

"Women…" he grumbled after the female's retreating form. "It's utterly impossible to say anything that'll please them. They're simply be born to nag and weep." He cast a spiteful glare down the hallway. "It's all certain ones seem capable of doing!" he yelled.

The woman flipped him the bird and continued along her way.

Severus muttered curses and swept into his office, slamming the door shut behind him. He glanced purposefully around the room and found his prey.

The vial tinkled and scattered all over the floor as it forcefully hit the dungeon wall. As soon as Severus saw the gooey forest-green substance drip down the stone, he knew it was a horrendous, careless mistake.

"Merlin," he muttered, bracing himself. Severus heard the door creak open, and he whirled around to face the newcomer.

"Granger! OUT!" he shouted.

Hermione Granger stopped in her tracks like a deer in the headlights. Severus knew it was too late for her to escape, and within a split second, he had slammed the door shut and instinctively wrapped the girl tightly in his arms.

There was a deafening bang and a blinding flash of red light, and the room began to swirl. For a few moments, neither professor nor head girl could see anything. Both were knocked unconscious as the room steadied with a stomach-crushing jolt.

---------------------------------------

When Severus finally gained consciousness a few minutes later, he still had his arms wrapped around the nosy little twit, but now both were lying on the insufferably cold floor.

"Stupid, insolent Gryffindor," he mumbled, gently ridding the girl from his embrace. Her upper body flopped down on the cold stone floor with a small thud, which was enough to rouse her from her unconscious state with an involuntary grunt.

"Where am I?" she whispered hoarsely, slowly propping herself up on her elbows.

"You are in the same room that you entered moments ago, and without permission, I might add," Severus snapped, standing and brushing his robes off.

Hermione shook her head, looking slightly flushed. "Right." She looked around, taking in her surroundings and growing more embarrassed by the second. "And, um, where exactly is that?"

Severus stared at her incredulously. "My office?" he suggested, half irritated and half amused at the student's antithetical idiocy.

"Oh." Hermione frowned. "And…what was I doing there?"

"How should I know?" Severus snapped, crossing his arms. He mentally scolded himself as the girl recoiled. _She obviously has a concussion and minor amnesia_, he decided, studying her. _So I suppose her incessant questions can be forgiven just once..._

"Professor…Snape?" Hermione tried, attempting to stand.

"Correct." Severus took her by the shoulders and helped her up a bit more roughly than he probably should have. "Come sit at my desk. You need to be examined."

Hermione allowed him to steer her to his desk, her mind racing. _Why was I here? What was that huge bang? What the bloody hell is going on!_

"I'm sure you'd like to know what's going on," Severus mumbled, trying not to make it too obvious that he was invading her mind. _But only a bit. It's not like it's unethical to take advantage of a girl's head injuries to peek at her deepest secrets and innermost thoughts._

"Very much so," Hermione agreed.

"Before you entered, there was a… an accident with one of my potions. A very careless thing for me to have done, to be sure, but regardless, it happened. And now we're trapped in here for an indefinite period of time."

Truth be told, Severus knew exactly when they would be released, but no amount of gold would convince him to tell the little Gryffindor know-it-all what those circumstances were. Instead, he went to the door and tried to open it, but his hand was repelled the second he placed it near the handle. He swore softly and pulled out his wand to try some different spells, and even a few hexes, but to no avail. His wand only made a pathetic spluttering noise, and the door remained unopened. Severus cursed again and leaned against the wall, resigned to waiting in this tiny chamber with Hermione Granger – a fate worse than death.

For a few moments, there was an awkward silence; the awkwardness was mostly on Severus' part, for Hermione was much too confused to notice how awkward the situation was.

_And she doesn't know the details of the event that preceded our unfortunate imprisonment here_, Severus thought, scowling to himself. Hermione misinterpreted the scowl as meant for her.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to stare."

Severus slowly turned to look at her. "What in Merlin's name are you talking about Miss Granger?"

Hermione's flush reached from her hairline to her chin. "I-I was s-s-staring, s-sir. I didn't mean to."

Severus shook his head. "I wasn't scowling at you, Miss Granger. I was just reliving one of the more embarrassing moments through which I have had the misfortune of living."

"When the three of us Stupefied you in the Shrieking Shack?"

Severus glared at her, and Hermione's normal coloring was replaced by that of a radish. "I'm glad you're beginning to recall the details of your prior idiotic quests. Obviously your amnesia is receding," he growled. "The event to which I was referring was not that, but a rendezvous with an old friend." Severus mentally kicked himself in the gut as he watched Hermione's face brighten with curiosity.

"Oh. I see." She sat in his chair, her foot tapping the floor nervously. "Care to…"

"No."

"Right."

Hermione looked around the room anxiously as Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to preempt the headache he felt coming on.

For an hour or so, both of them did, rather uncharacteristically, absolutely nothing except for when Severus would go to the bookshelf, pick up a text, and stare at the pages with empty, unseeing eyes while Hermione slowly fell into a slumber on his desk. It soon became apparent to him that he would have to tell Hermione what was truly going on.

"Miss Granger," he said quietly, his voice somewhat high-pitched and cracking. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Miss Granger!"

"Huh?" she mumbled, lifting her head up off the desk.

Severus sighed and bit his lip. "You see…"

"You should really stop that, you know," Hermione interrupted.

Severus was taken aback. "Pardon?"

"You shouldn't chew on your lip. It makes your teeth move and you could get your lip infected."

Severus glared at her, but didn't bother to reprimand her – the nausea from the impending conversation threatened to overwhelm him. He simply stopped chewing his lip, hoping it would make it all easier. Of course, it was a silly thought, but one could always hope.

"Miss Granger, the circumstances under which we are here are not exactly comfortable for either one of us," he tried.

Hermione tipped her head to the side and frowned. "Sir?"

Severus gulped, and Hermione was even more puzzled. _Severus Snape has never shown a sign of weakness in his life,_ she thought incredulously. _Well, not that I've seen._

"You see, there is only one way in which we can be released from this temporary prison," he started again. He paused to catch his breath and slow his racing heart.

"Yes?" Hermione probed.

"I am getting to it Miss Granger!" he snapped. He drew in a breath to calm himself._She's only a child; she couldn't possibly understand what this is like_. "Due to the nature of the potion that was spilled and activated, in order to escape from this hell, we have to… engage in the act of… sexual… intercourse," he choked out.

Hermione blinked and stared at her professor. "Excuse me?" she said, suppressed rage apparent in her voice.

"We – have – to – have – sex," he repeated slowly, a flush making a rare attempt to creep into his pale features.

Hermione glared at him and rose from her seat. "And _why_ do I have to have sex with you?" she shouted.

Severus flinched inwardly when she said 'sex'. "Because the potion I spilled was a very potent variation of a love potion that Al- the Headmaster asked me to produce for him. Once it comes in contact with the air around it, it traps two people inside the room they're occupying. If no one is in the room at the time, people will be chosen at random." A sneer found its way to his face. "Just feel lucky that there was only one other occupant, Miss Granger, or else you'd be playing tonsil hockey with more than one tonight." He raised an eyebrow. "And you should also feel blessed that it was I, not Longbottom, that was trapped in here with you," he mused.

Hermione was beyond furious. "Well," she sputtered, "You seem absolutely ecstatic about your bed-mate! Are you sure you wouldn't rather have that…that…whore I saw walking down the halls? Could you have chosen someone with bigger boobs and more makeup?"

Severus growled and was upon Hermione in a split second, pinning her to the wall. "That woman, Miss Granger, was none other than my sister," he whispered menacingly, his eyes flashing and his face inches from hers. He watched with satisfaction as Hermione's eyes widened and she went considerably paler.

"Oh, I…I…"

Severus let his gaze wander up and down her body before staring into her large brown eyes. "Yes, Miss Granger?" he purred softly.

Hermione blinked and gulped. "Um, sorry?" she stammered.

Severus laughed a throaty laugh and licked his lips. _Such young blood,_ he thought, an animalistic urge spreading from his cheeks down to his loins. _All mine…_

Hermione gasped as Severus' lips came down on hers. She whimpered and struggled, but the wizard was too strong. Thinking quickly, she jerked her knee up forcefully between his legs. Severus yelped and slid to the floor, clutching his groin. Hermione sprinted to the door and shook it with all her strength.

"Open up you piece of shit!" she shrieked, putting her back into it.

"Miss Granger…" Severus choked, regaining some of his sense.

"Stay back, you bastard!" she screamed, tearing her wand out of her robes and trying every hex she could recall. Severus would have been surprised by the ones she knew if it weren't for the fact that his nether regions were screaming in agony.

"_Miss_ Granger, if you would please calm yourself," he hissed between short, pained breaths.

"And let you," Hermione shuddered visibly, "_Kiss_ me again? I think not!" She turned her back on him and yanked at the door handle; in one last vain attempt, she placed both feet astride the door and pulled with all her might on the knob.

Severus, growing tired of her useless attempts to escape, sucked in one last breath, the pain having subsided, pulled the head girl off the door, and dropped her very unceremoniously into one of his chairs.

"If you could _please_, for just one moment, try to listen, I might explain my actions," he began. Hermione glared at him and snorted, arms folded, but didn't interrupt.

Severus began to pace back and forth in front of his desk. "As you are well aware, I 1spent the better part of my life as a member of the Dark Lord's elite squadron of followers."

"Oh, you mean as a Muggle-hating, bloodthirsty Death Eater who raped and murdered for fun?" Hermione spat, her voice viscous with ire.

Severus rolled his eyes, used to the numerous classifications of Death Eater activities. "Call it what you will, but…"

"And by 'better part,' I do hope you meant the majority rather than the best years, or I have even more reason to be frightened than I thought," she added.

The professor glared at her. "Yes, Miss Granger, I meant the majority, as you very well know. Now, if I might continue without interruption?"

"By all means," Hermione returned sarcastically.

"And in this elite…oh, bloody hell, Granger, stop rolling your eyes at me! Fine, when I was a _Death Eater_, Voldemort had very remarkable techniques with which to brainwash his subjects. Before I realized what a mistake I was making, he was halfway finished with my indoctrination. Even though he never finished his work, I still have episodes of, let's say, 'Death Eater-mode.'"

Hermione stared at him with an expression of doubt. "Sure, Professor."

Severus glowered at Hermione. "Fine. Don't believe it. But it's the only explanation I can offer for my behavior, for which I apologize." He thought for a moment, trying to recall his brewing notes from the potion he had spilled. "Otherwise, it is believed that a side effect of this potion is to make all affected by it, shall we say, horny, if coitus is not performed quickly. If we ever plan to get out of this room alive, we'll have to do much more than kiss."

Hermione shuddered and turned her back to Severus. He simply shrugged and took another book off of his shelf and began to read.

---------------------------------------

After a few hours, Hermione had still not spoken a single word to Severus. He slammed down his book and glared at the girl.

"Listen, Granger, can we hurry this up?"

She glared right back at him. "You sure know how to win a girl's heart, don't you?"

Severus sighed. "I am not looking forward to this any more than you are. So can we make this as painless as possible?"

Hermione sniffed. "Well, aren't you the flatterer! So you're saying I'm not sexually appealing?"

This was a situation that was completely foreign to Severus, but he knew somewhere deep down in his male instincts that he had backed himself into a corner and that there was absolutely no right answer to that question.

"I did _not_ say that!"

"Then what _did_ you say?"

"I simply meant to say that as your professor, it would be against all of my morals to…pardon the expression, _shag_ you."

"Of course!" Hermione snorted. "Typical male."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "I most certainly am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am _not_!"

"Are _too_!"

At some point it must have occurred to one of them that they sounded impossibly childish, so they ceased their argument and positioned themselves in opposite corners.

Severus eventually dared to glance at his cellmate. She actually looked sort of…pretty. He shuddered. No. He couldn't let himself fall into the classic trap. Get the student angry, and then reflect on the loveliness of the flushed cheeks of the enraged girl. He decided, instead, to court her in the interest of minimizing their time in captivity.

"Hermione, may I interest you in a glass of whiskey?"

Hermione whipped around. "So now you're going to get me drunk and then have your way with me?"

The older wizard took a breath to keep himself from snapping back, recognizing that her outburst was prompted by the most uncomfortable fate they both faced. "I'm going to do no such thing. I thought perhaps that we could get on civil terms so we might think of a way out of this uncomfortable situation without becoming…intimate."

Hermione stepped cautiously toward him, preparing for another Death Eater emergence. But when Severus gestured toward the chair and moved to retrieve his bottle of whiskey from his liquor cabinet, she let her fears fade away. 

"On the rocks," she mumbled, seating herself. Severus poured the drinks where she could see them and pushed one toward her.

Severus had been lying when he spoke to the young woman earlier, and he was nearly sure that it wasn't the right way to start a courtship. He also knew that she was probably aware of his fib – becoming intimate was inevitable.

Hermione sipped at the icy beverage and studied her professor (and soon-to-be lover). She supposed she could get used to the thought – after a few more drinks. It wasn't as if she was sticking to the "wait until marriage" concept. She believed in having sex when emotionally ready, a belief that had already been put into action before the final showdown with Voldemort in the previous summer.

Hermione made up her mind as she finished off her drink. "Pour me another, Severus," she said. "I'll need a few more before I'm up to doing this."

Severus nodded, happy to oblige. He was probably going to need a few more himself.

A mere hour later, both Hermione and Severus were tipsy, to say the least. Severus was drunkenly doing an impression of a vampire, and Hermione was giggling her brains out.

"My dear Her-mee-oh-ninny," Severus oozed in a butchered Transylvanian accent, "I vant to suck your blahd."

Hermione laughed even harder as Severus leaned over and placed his lips on her neck, slightly sinking his teeth in. Her laughter ceased when his lips moved down her neckline and plunged farther down…

"Ah," Hermione breathed, lightly grasping the armrests on her chair. Severus raised his head back up to her jaw line and worked his way over to her lips.

They stayed like this, lips locked, for a full five minutes before either moved. Severus reached for Hermione's blouse and began to unbutton the collar. Hermione struggled to undo Severus' many buttons and finally ripped open the damned jacket, buttons flying everywhere.

"I can't believe I was ever apprehensive about this," Hermione muttered, running her hands up and down her professor's chest, her body tingling with an alcohol-induced lust.

"I know," Severus replied, feeling light-headed. He finally pulled open the last button and pressed his lips to Hermione's slightly swollen ones. And that was all they could remember before the blackness overwhelmed them.

---------------------------------------

When Severus finally came to, the air in the room had chilled significantly. He pushed himself weakly up onto his elbows and looked around. The room looked the same as it had before.

Had he passed out? Had he and Hermione…? Severus groaned. Had he just shagged a student?

From the looks of it, yes. Her blouse was open and her skirt had been hiked up as she lay on the floor next to him, still clutching his waist.

Severus gently removed her arms and peeled himself off the floor. Just for kicks, he walked over to the door and tried the knob. It turned easily.

"Fuck," he mumbled. He poured himself a whiskey and sat on the floor next to Hermione.

It didn't take long for her to wake. She grumbled sleepily as she stretched.

"Good morning, Professor," she said, yawning. Severus counted down the seconds. Three…two…one…

"Holy fuck!"

Blast-off.

"Did we…?"

"It would seem so," Severus told her, gesturing toward the open door. Hermione threw herself back on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

"Not possible."

"It actually is."

"No, it isn't," Hermione reiterated, pulling herself up once more. "If we had…you know…I would know."

"How is that, Hermione? Some kind of magic I don't know about?"

"Apparently so! I have charmed my body, well, my left kneecap, to be precise, to turn a reddish color after sex, just in case of drunken debauchery." She pointed to her knee. "Not red."

"Then how did the door open?" Severus asked huffily.

"You tell me! You're the Potions Master!"

Severus walked over to where he had thrown the potion vial earlier and picked up the shard with the label. He could just read the date on it.

"It's expired," he told her. "That would explain the door opening. The effects wore off."

"I see. That's…good…I suppose." Hermione re-buttoned her blouse and straightened her skirt. "Well, thanks for the drinks, Professor. I should be going."

Hermione had just reached the door when it slammed shut in front of her. She turned around to see Severus dropping another vial on the ground with a huge smirk on his face.

"Not so fast, Miss Granger."

Hermione grinned wickedly as she braced herself for the loud explosion that followed the breaking vial. As soon as the room had steadied, she launched herself at Severus, and they both fell to the floor with a loud thud.

"_I_ vant to suck _your _blahd, _Severus_."

"Be my guest, Miss Granger."

---------------------------------------

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed the edited-for-readability version of this classic! The uncensored extended version will be posted on AFF as soon as possible.

Your devoted servant,

Ange de Socrates


	2. A Note

STORY REVISED FOR READABILITY

Hey everyone,

Just wanted this to appear on top as having been updated. I only replaced the story with a revised version – it's a bit more true to character now. Enjoy!


End file.
